Our relationship started with a “HI” and ended with a “GOODBYE”. However, “HI” was good but could not last long and “GOODBYE” was not as good as “HI” for me it lasted for life. I got nothing good out of that “GOODBYE”.
It started with a DAWN two years ago on 13th of December and ended with DUSK of 13th of August a year ago. What a beautiful morning it was when I met her and she met me. Though the sun was rising out of the vast sea as if the sea is giving birth to the bright sun but I saw her face glittering like star at the nighttime. I kept staring at her and she kept giving me a wonderful look. I did feel the breeze coming from the seaside but the blossom that her eyes were showring at me was making my heart feel like in paRude wordse. Our eyes caught each other for thousand moments and then we went on our ways without saying a word from our mouths, even though our eyes talked a lot and promised each other to meet again. Next day at the same time and at the same place our eyes met and they talked a lot. I really do not remember what did they talk about, but whatever they talk was all so romatic that in my heart I felt some ache, the ache that you feel in love not just because of some attraction or infatuation but out of love which was something enternal. I felt as if I have reached the horizon. My eyes tried to express my emotions and my feelings for her, but were unable to say “I LOVE YOU! Will you be my lovergirl?”
I collected my courages, all my guts to say those three words and somehow I knelt down, held her right hand in my right hand; kissed it and then taking s handful of sand in my hand pouring it back to the ground I said, “Dear! It was yesterday only when our eyes were strucked on each other’s eyes and the way I feeling for you since that moment is inexpressible. It was the most wonderful moment of my life when you tried to look into me through my eyes. However, we do not even know each other’s name but I did try to read you through your eyes. I found your externeal beauty wonderful and I know your inner beauty must be awesome just like an angel. I have never fallen in love so far. In addition, your beauty touched my heart and melted it like wax. So far, many people tried to teach me the meaning of love but I found it so boring and ridiculous but your presence makes me feel that something is in the air. I know you are the one who can make my hell like life heaven. Today I feel as if my heart was in nostalgia and was waiting for you for centuries. I felt as if I was longing for you for centuries. Moreover, today when you are infront of me I am not going to let this chance to express my love for you go waste. Therefore, in short I LOVE YOU…I want to say that I saw my love, my life partner in you and I want you to be my lover. Please accept my proposal and accept me as your lover.”
She kept thinking and did not say even a single word. I felt as if she is wondering what type of man is he. He saw me yesterday and proposed me today. She pondered for five minutes and then in a matter of second gave me tight slap.
I was shocked and I was perspiring. I was on my bed. It was mere a dream and it was my mother who slapped me in reality coz I was late for my classes. My heart was beating fater than it beats usual and my mother had given a fullstop to my dreams. My dream was shattered. That is how I lost her. I lost her in dream…I lost her in reality .
May 4, 2006
May 2, 2006
Happy Birthday to ME!
12:55 at night
It was raining,
I was going through
my books.
I was feeling sleepy.
and inbetweem dozing also.
As the time was passing by
I was trying to turn the pages as fast as possible;
Searching for something.
The wall clock struck at 00:00 am
I found a piece of paper in one of my book
I saw something written, illegible
What was that?
OMG! It was four words saying: Happy Birthday to ME!
Which i jotted down years ago when i was Alone just like i am NOW!!!
It was raining,
I was going through
my books.
I was feeling sleepy.
and inbetweem dozing also.
As the time was passing by
I was trying to turn the pages as fast as possible;
Searching for something.
The wall clock struck at 00:00 am
I found a piece of paper in one of my book
I saw something written, illegible
What was that?
OMG! It was four words saying: Happy Birthday to ME!
Which i jotted down years ago when i was Alone just like i am NOW!!!
Apr 27, 2006
M'day
"I want to be like my mother"
Everybody wants to be something in life….want to be like someone……someone whom we can respect n follow their paths….and I like to be my mother…whom I saw all the time so strong…… In one life girls have to live so many life….first as a daughter…..then as sister…as a wife…as mother ….and many more…..n I saw my mom passes every step of her life…..as a daughter she loved n did everything she have to for her parents……she is the sister whom her brothers ns sister keep in the place of parents……as a wife she have been always best one ….supporting my dad all the time…doing everything to make him happy………..and as a mother she is best……as I was the first child I born in my dad n mom’s house……n they never let any sadness touch me……I know that many problems and many things dad even don’t know about us…..she handled it herself ‘coz she never wanted to give dad tension about house n us………..she is great……….she is my friend when I need one around…n she can be teacher when I have problems……….she gave me n my sister the best advice we can ever want….she told us “women’s are patience themselves so have patience in life n u’ll be the best every where……and as a women u have to be like water….u must be capable of taking the shape of any vessels like water…..’Coz u have to live different relations in different ways ’…………..her suggestions...her love n care will never leave us…..so I want to be my mother……….smiling all the time…..in any situation n having patience n caring everyone ……..
Everybody wants to be something in life….want to be like someone……someone whom we can respect n follow their paths….and I like to be my mother…whom I saw all the time so strong…… In one life girls have to live so many life….first as a daughter…..then as sister…as a wife…as mother ….and many more…..n I saw my mom passes every step of her life…..as a daughter she loved n did everything she have to for her parents……she is the sister whom her brothers ns sister keep in the place of parents……as a wife she have been always best one ….supporting my dad all the time…doing everything to make him happy………..and as a mother she is best……as I was the first child I born in my dad n mom’s house……n they never let any sadness touch me……I know that many problems and many things dad even don’t know about us…..she handled it herself ‘coz she never wanted to give dad tension about house n us………..she is great……….she is my friend when I need one around…n she can be teacher when I have problems……….she gave me n my sister the best advice we can ever want….she told us “women’s are patience themselves so have patience in life n u’ll be the best every where……and as a women u have to be like water….u must be capable of taking the shape of any vessels like water…..’Coz u have to live different relations in different ways ’…………..her suggestions...her love n care will never leave us…..so I want to be my mother……….smiling all the time…..in any situation n having patience n caring everyone ……..
I know like my mom every mom in this world is like that............everyone is gr8............so today is their day n i wanted to say sth for my mom so i wrote this............not story but my feelings.............................i just want to say today that i love my mom m missing.................
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Apr 19, 2006
Naya Barsa
kura naya barsa ko ho. calendar totro bayo. naya barsa sanga ahune nayapan baneko yehi nai ho sayed. khai yo pali kasaile calendar diyenan.aba ta kinna parla jasto nai cha.
kebal calendar totro bayo.dekine garera banne ho bane. calendar naya kinna pani paisa karcha hola jasto cha yespali. aba kotha picche euta calendar ta tagnai paryo.
yestai cha .
naya barsa sangai euta yo samasya tapiyo.
samasya ta derai chan. banera faida kehi chaina.
yestia cha badal lagekai cha desbari.tyo badal barudko duwna le ho ki,tyre ko duwna le ho kasaile banna sakdaina.
badal lage pachi paani ta parcha nai. paani parla naparla afnai tahun ma cha. tara yo badal teti chadain fatla jasto chaina. khai kahile ahula ho paani parepachi ko khuleko ,hanseko euta naya umanga liyeko naya bihan.
khai bajeko pasal ma basera feri chiya khane kahile ho.
baje ramrari gannus hai ko ko ahundainan aba tapainko chyapasal ma. chiya khaneko sankya pani pataliyo hola aajkal.
dudh kam bayera hoina.chiyapatti kamjor bayera pani hoina. baje khane manchai nai sab bidesh pase. ke garnu huncha.
aba tehi calendar naya tagera baye pani manaunai paryo naya barsa.espali khai kehi naya hola ki.
uhi chiyakumar bata sabailai naya barsa ko subhkamana
kebal calendar totro bayo.dekine garera banne ho bane. calendar naya kinna pani paisa karcha hola jasto cha yespali. aba kotha picche euta calendar ta tagnai paryo.
yestai cha .
naya barsa sangai euta yo samasya tapiyo.
samasya ta derai chan. banera faida kehi chaina.
yestia cha badal lagekai cha desbari.tyo badal barudko duwna le ho ki,tyre ko duwna le ho kasaile banna sakdaina.
badal lage pachi paani ta parcha nai. paani parla naparla afnai tahun ma cha. tara yo badal teti chadain fatla jasto chaina. khai kahile ahula ho paani parepachi ko khuleko ,hanseko euta naya umanga liyeko naya bihan.
khai bajeko pasal ma basera feri chiya khane kahile ho.
baje ramrari gannus hai ko ko ahundainan aba tapainko chyapasal ma. chiya khaneko sankya pani pataliyo hola aajkal.
dudh kam bayera hoina.chiyapatti kamjor bayera pani hoina. baje khane manchai nai sab bidesh pase. ke garnu huncha.
aba tehi calendar naya tagera baye pani manaunai paryo naya barsa.espali khai kehi naya hola ki.
uhi chiyakumar bata sabailai naya barsa ko subhkamana
Apr 18, 2006
When Love Was In The Air...
a thought of her drives me crazy...i think i wont write but makes me write...i dotn want to think but makes me thnk...makes me think that when love was in the air....
When love was in the air
I never said, "I Love you! my dear"
I never felt like saying so
But you never let me go
Without saying, "I Love You"
I still remember such moments were very few
When love was in the air
You used to ask me, "How much you miss me dear?"
I used to stretch my arms and tell you "this much"
And when I used to ask you "You miss me how much?"
Your answer used to be "I don't miss you at all"
"Coz I always find you even in an empty hall!"
When love was in the air
You used to ask me, "How are you dear?"
I never replied, "I am fine!"
But your sweet voice always made my face shine
I still remember your first question over the phone
"Ko Boleko Hola?" still echoes in my ears and makes me prone
When love was in the air
You used called me "BATHHEY dear!"
I did call you BATHHI though I didn't know the meaning
I hope that never made you day-dreaming
I don't know whether you were addicted to me or I was addicted to you
We knew that our love was true, then, today how come I lost you?
When love was in the air
We used to talk for hours "My Dear"
Now neither you want to talk to me nor do I want to listen to you
But still every morning what makes my eyes watery is a thought of you
I am not so impatient to meet you, and still I do miss you
I am not so to desperate to love you but still I do love you
When love was in the air
What we had common was "Love and Care"
Now I do love you and care about you
But you don't give me a damn and what I see in you is just a shrew
When I say something, I mean it, whether you mind it or not
You are sweet, adorable, but your mind is hot! Damn Hot!
When love was in the air
Ours was the best love story, My Dear!
I knew that for the first time in life I was in love
And I knew that it wonýt last forever...yeah! That love!
But I never knew that one day I will be a part of your heartfelt story
And you would a part of my sad story
When love was in the air
I never wrote a poem for you "My dear"
But now I am writing it and you are not there to listen
Anyways atleast someone's there to make you glisten
I hope he will keep you happy, fill you with eternal bliss
And what I will do here is pray for you and miss...and miss...
When love was in the air
I never said, "I Love you! my dear"
I never felt like saying so
But you never let me go
Without saying, "I Love You"
I still remember such moments were very few
When love was in the air
You used to ask me, "How much you miss me dear?"
I used to stretch my arms and tell you "this much"
And when I used to ask you "You miss me how much?"
Your answer used to be "I don't miss you at all"
"Coz I always find you even in an empty hall!"
When love was in the air
You used to ask me, "How are you dear?"
I never replied, "I am fine!"
But your sweet voice always made my face shine
I still remember your first question over the phone
"Ko Boleko Hola?" still echoes in my ears and makes me prone
When love was in the air
You used called me "BATHHEY dear!"
I did call you BATHHI though I didn't know the meaning
I hope that never made you day-dreaming
I don't know whether you were addicted to me or I was addicted to you
We knew that our love was true, then, today how come I lost you?
When love was in the air
We used to talk for hours "My Dear"
Now neither you want to talk to me nor do I want to listen to you
But still every morning what makes my eyes watery is a thought of you
I am not so impatient to meet you, and still I do miss you
I am not so to desperate to love you but still I do love you
When love was in the air
What we had common was "Love and Care"
Now I do love you and care about you
But you don't give me a damn and what I see in you is just a shrew
When I say something, I mean it, whether you mind it or not
You are sweet, adorable, but your mind is hot! Damn Hot!
When love was in the air
Ours was the best love story, My Dear!
I knew that for the first time in life I was in love
And I knew that it wonýt last forever...yeah! That love!
But I never knew that one day I will be a part of your heartfelt story
And you would a part of my sad story
When love was in the air
I never wrote a poem for you "My dear"
But now I am writing it and you are not there to listen
Anyways atleast someone's there to make you glisten
I hope he will keep you happy, fill you with eternal bliss
And what I will do here is pray for you and miss...and miss...
Bitter taste of love
He met her on a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to being polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please, let me go home.... suddenly he asked the waiter. "would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee."
Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously; why you have this hobby? He replied: "when I was a little boy, I was livi ng near the sea, I like playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there". While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched.
That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story.
They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee!
Then the story was just like every beautiful love story , the princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy life... And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee e, as she knew that's the way he liked it.
After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: "My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you---the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead.I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything..
Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste.. But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life,even though I have to drink the salty coffee again".
Her tears made the letter totally wet.Someday, someone asked her: what's the taste of salty coffee?
It's sweet. She replied.
Love is not 2 forget but 2 forgive, not 2 c but 2 understand, not 2 hear but 2 listen, not 2 let go but 2 HOLD ON !!!!
Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously; why you have this hobby? He replied: "when I was a little boy, I was livi ng near the sea, I like playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there". While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched.
That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story.
They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee!
Then the story was just like every beautiful love story , the princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy life... And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee e, as she knew that's the way he liked it.
After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: "My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you---the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead.I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything..
Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste.. But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life,even though I have to drink the salty coffee again".
Her tears made the letter totally wet.Someday, someone asked her: what's the taste of salty coffee?
It's sweet. She replied.
Love is not 2 forget but 2 forgive, not 2 c but 2 understand, not 2 hear but 2 listen, not 2 let go but 2 HOLD ON !!!!
Apr 11, 2006
I THOUGHT...
I thought I finished with my tears
I will never ever cry again for years
But it was all wrong what I thought
Tears! That’s what a thought of you brought
I thought I will never ever weep again
I will never ever feel the same pain
But it was all wrong what I was thinking
Today! I see ocen of my tears all around in which I am sinking
I thought I will never ever see you again
I will never ever see you getting wet in the rain
But it was all wrong what I judged
Love! In your love, I find myself submerged
I thought I will never ever think about you again
I will never ever, in your thoughts go insane
But it was all wrong and I am still wondering
Alas! Still it’s you about whom I find myself pondering
I thought you will never talk to me again
You will never ever say me "HI" with a pain
But it was all wrong what I was guessing
Ah! Still I find myself asking you to love me, is all what I am essaying... is all what I am essaying
It’s tough to learn... It’s tough to earn... and it’s tough to turn...but it’s easy to BURN...BURN in HELL
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