and i couldn't say 'no'....

love my girl a lot... don't know if it sounds cheesy or but i really do love her a lot n there hasn't been a time when i couldn't say 'no' to what she asked.. i wore long hair.. n my whole family was against it.. they were always pressuring me to cut my hair.. but to all their demands n request my answer was a simple 'NO'... but then when she asked me to do it.. i couldn't say 'no'... study.. as its with almost everyone not liking studying at all.. it has been the same with me.. but when she said.. 'now after u go home u start studying' n then also i couldn't say 'no' n would return home n sit down to study.. n sometimes when late at night she used to miss me... she'd call me up n tell me ' sas i'm missing u a lot.. i want to meet you... can u come outside my house??' i couldn't say 'no'.. somehow i'd sneak out of my house go to her place .. call her up from a shop outside her house n she too would come out making some excuses.. then one day she told me she was trying for U.S as i myself wasn't in Nepal with her then n she was really lonely as everything there reminded her of me making her miserable.. besides her parents, she told were expecting a lot from her.. n she had to live up to their expectations.. i couldn't say 'no'.. knew long distance relationship are hard to keep n U.S being even further away from the place i was in it'd be really hard.. also U.S is known for its infamous break ups... but i had full trust in our relation n helped her in every possible way i could.. she got there n made promise to call her up regularly.. n how could i say 'no' to that.. she was lonely there.. everyone there had pairs..pairs who went together.. or pairs who got paired right there.. she was the only one there without a pair.. n it is really hard for a girl to stay in U.S without a pair.. n for a girl as beautiful as her.. even more harder.. there were times when she'd cry over the ph saying how life was there.. n how hard it was for her.. i just couldn't do anything about it.. but to cry along with her.. n sometimes assure her that it was just a few years n then we'd be together forever.. n then there were times when she'd ask me to do her assingments for her :) n even though i had my own stuffs piled up.. i couldn't say 'no' infact enjoyed doing them as it made me feel at least there is something that i can do for her.. sometimes happy, sometimes sad, sometimes fustrated n sometimes enthusiastic... whatever or however we felt we always shared them all...

just a few days back i called her up as usual.. n then she told me to call her back after about 10mins.. this had become quite normal for me.. coz she was sharing a room with her senior whom she looked upto as her elder sister.. n she felt a bit odd talking to me with her sis around her.. so i thought ok 10mins.. when will it be over.. n kept looking at my watch.. yes!!! finally 10 mins up.. called her again.. she was sounding a bit shaky.. n after a while she let out a muffled cry..a cry she was trying to hold back.. i was really shocked n scared.. n then i asked her 'what's wrong ?? why r u crying??' then she said..' i am not crying' her voice was kinda shaky.. but not her usual voice when she cried.. i thought i must have imagined that or something.. n again started to talking to her.. but then again i heard a cry n this time i was sure of it.. i asked her again.. n again she denied it.. i just kept quiet for a moment.. n then she suddenly burst out.. she sobbed in a way she had never before.. i was really worried n i again asked her.. 'what's wrong ?? why r u crying?? com'on speak up.. what is the matter' .. then half crying she said.. 'sas u love me a lot don't u?? n u will give me anything that i ask for.. won't you?' i was kinda confused n scared n worried all the same.. 'yeah of course.. i will give u anything of which i am capable of giving' i said. she said ' shana i'm gonna ask u something.. plz don't say no.. n before i ask u that.. first promise me that u'll not ask me any questions n give me what i want.. n also u will study hard n fulfill ur parents dreams n look after them well'. Now i really worried sick, i knew where this was leading to.. i knew what she was gonna ask for.. but i had to hear from her mouth to confirm it.. cause what i thought i knew she was gonna ask was something i had never imagined or never thought of.. she kept pleading me about it.. she kept on pleading for me to promise it.. i had no choice.. i said, ' ok i will promise that i'll give u what u ask for.. n won't qn u n also will study well n do everything u just asked said had to....but first u must promise me.. that u won't ever regret asking this.. n that after i give u what u ask for u will be happy'. Again she burst out into a cry.. n said, ' that i am not sure of..' then i said her..' then why do u want to ask something that is not gonna make u happy.. i will give u only that.. which will make u happy' to which she replied ' no i am not gonna regret asking it.. its for the betterment of the both us.. as for my happiness i'm still uncertain.. but first u have to promise me that u'll give me what i ask n also be happy that u gave me.. ' , ' well if it will make u happy then of course i am gonna be happy but then u say that u are not sure that u urself will be happy' this is what i said.. n again she pleaded me to make that promise.. i couldn't stand her pleas.. i mean i couldn't hear her pleading.. i was not used to her pleadings so i just blurted out..'ok i promise.. also i promise that i'm gonna be happy that i was able to give u what u had wanted' .. n still half crying she said, 'ok then i know that i too am gonna be happy' .. then preparing myself for the worst i said to her 'ok now ask me what it is that u want', 'shanu, please leave me' this me what she asked for.. i knew that was coming n i had prepared myself for it.. but actually hearing it from her was something really different .. something that made my world turn upside down n darken everything.... she had not only asked me to leave her.. but also leave everything.. all of my dreams.. all that i loved n all that i cared for.. everything that was assosciated with her.. n believe me everything in my life was about her.. n everything was what i had to give her.. she had asked me everything that i possessed.. my dreams, my joys, my memories, my goal, my strength, my confidence.. everything... n as it would make her happy... i just couldn't say 'no'...