It all started some years back when I had just joined college. It was then that I saw her. She was not that beautiful but something in her drew me close to her. Was it her blue eyes or the way she talked or just her simple looks I can never tell, but whatever it was I started liking her. It was not love at first sight and nor did I wanted to jump onto it rightaway. I wanted to know her more, know how she felt about me so I became her just-a-friend. The more I would talk to her the more I liked her.
We started being together during college hours and when we reached home we would talk for hours over the phone and still I never got tired of her. We started going on dates, but I hadnt told her how I felt about her.
Then one day I told her. I told her how I felt,I told her what she meant for me, I told her everything. And she just smiled and said she had known it all along.
I was really happy but this happyness was not everlasting. After some months she started acting differently. At first I thought this was only my imagination, and I wish it was. She started avoiding me. Whenever I talked with her, she would do it for the sake of it. I couldn't understand what was happening, but whatever it was I could feel that I was losing her. I would sit alone in my room and think about the good times, the times when we were together and it would make me feel like crying. I couldn't take it any more so one day I asked for answers. And answer she gave me. She told me she never loved me, and if I was in illusion that we were lovers then she was breaking up. I knew it was comming and I was prepared for it, but still it was hard for me to take.
I finished my college. Time went by, and it had been more than two years since I last saw her. I did try to forget her but she was still in my mind. When we are hurt, though it heals in time, the scar reminds you about it throughout life.
Then one day I met her. It was just a formal talk as I could still feel the pain. She started calling me over the phone, and this time I talked just for the sake. She said she was sorry for all she had done, and she wanted us to be together again, just like before.
But now I don't want it. I don't want to go through all the pain once again. I cannot take it again. I don't know whether I am doing it right or not. I don't know whether I'll find THAT someone special or not. But one thing I know is that she was never meant for me and she'll never be mine again....
