May 4, 2006

...my dreams shattered and I lost her…

Our relationship started with a “HI” and ended with a “GOODBYE”. However, “HI” was good but could not last long and “GOODBYE” was not as good as “HI” for me it lasted for life. I got nothing good out of that “GOODBYE”.

It started with a DAWN two years ago on 13th of December and ended with DUSK of 13th of August a year ago. What a beautiful morning it was when I met her and she met me. Though the sun was rising out of the vast sea as if the sea is giving birth to the bright sun but I saw her face glittering like star at the nighttime. I kept staring at her and she kept giving me a wonderful look. I did feel the breeze coming from the seaside but the blossom that her eyes were showring at me was making my heart feel like in paRude wordse. Our eyes caught each other for thousand moments and then we went on our ways without saying a word from our mouths, even though our eyes talked a lot and promised each other to meet again. Next day at the same time and at the same place our eyes met and they talked a lot. I really do not remember what did they talk about, but whatever they talk was all so romatic that in my heart I felt some ache, the ache that you feel in love not just because of some attraction or infatuation but out of love which was something enternal. I felt as if I have reached the horizon. My eyes tried to express my emotions and my feelings for her, but were unable to say “I LOVE YOU! Will you be my lovergirl?”
I collected my courages, all my guts to say those three words and somehow I knelt down, held her right hand in my right hand; kissed it and then taking s handful of sand in my hand pouring it back to the ground I said, “Dear! It was yesterday only when our eyes were strucked on each other’s eyes and the way I feeling for you since that moment is inexpressible. It was the most wonderful moment of my life when you tried to look into me through my eyes. However, we do not even know each other’s name but I did try to read you through your eyes. I found your externeal beauty wonderful and I know your inner beauty must be awesome just like an angel. I have never fallen in love so far. In addition, your beauty touched my heart and melted it like wax. So far, many people tried to teach me the meaning of love but I found it so boring and ridiculous but your presence makes me feel that something is in the air. I know you are the one who can make my hell like life heaven. Today I feel as if my heart was in nostalgia and was waiting for you for centuries. I felt as if I was longing for you for centuries. Moreover, today when you are infront of me I am not going to let this chance to express my love for you go waste. Therefore, in short I LOVE YOU…I want to say that I saw my love, my life partner in you and I want you to be my lover. Please accept my proposal and accept me as your lover.”
She kept thinking and did not say even a single word. I felt as if she is wondering what type of man is he. He saw me yesterday and proposed me today. She pondered for five minutes and then in a matter of second gave me tight slap.
I was shocked and I was perspiring. I was on my bed. It was mere a dream and it was my mother who slapped me in reality coz I was late for my classes. My heart was beating fater than it beats usual and my mother had given a fullstop to my dreams. My dream was shattered. That is how I lost her. I lost her in dream…I lost her in reality
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