Feb 7, 2006

Confused ....Love Story!

A couple years ago, while chatting online, I came across many different and very interesting people.

I never thought of I-Ming (instant messaging) anybody. I was in a chat room one night, and this guy was chatting. she seemed like somebody so compatible with me.

So, I decided to give this instant messenger a try. Not knowing i was going to fall head of heels in love with this man, I I-Med her and simply said hello. That's when it all started. We began to chat more frequently, than it turned into every night, and after that, every spare minute we had in a day. The only reason I would really go online was to chat with her. I barely knew her but my love grew more and more day by day.

When I would tell people about it, they would think I was crazy to have fallen for this complete stranger. Yet, they didn't understand how deeply I felt for him. When I would see her screen name sign on, i would get tingles all over, and butterflies in my tummy. one or two years passed and this stranger was still in my heart. One night, I decided to call her. Since she lived far away, we couldn't talk on the phone much because my parents and her would see this unfamiliar number on the phone bill. The first time I heard his voice on the phone, I got this feeling that i can't even describe. For the first time in my life, I had been completely speechless. Words no longer existed. After that, we chatted more. I didn't think she felt for me, as i had for her. To my surprise, one night she told me how much I meant to her, and that she had to be with me. She told me that no one had ever made her smile on the worst days. No one could calm her down when she was angry, as I had. she told me that he thought of me every single moment. And I was more in love with her than I knew.

After chatting for 2 years or so, she told me she was in love with me, but I didn't believe it. I didn't believe how 2 complete strangers could fall in love. Conversations would come up about seeing each other and we would plan everything, or I would at least. And when that day would come for us to meet, something would come up. This went on a couple more times. One day she disappeared and for a couple months I didn't talk to her. But not a day went by that I wouldn't think of her. I saw her online one night, and I thought this was my only chance to tell her how I had felt. I told her I was in love with her. And she was shocked. she said, she felt the same, but I didn't think so. I have stopped trying to work it out with her. I have given up. I guess you can say I moved on, new loves have came and left. But none have left such an impact on my life as she has. And still to this day, I think of her every day.

Sometimes, I cry. I wish someday I could finally meet this stranger that I have loved for so long. I asked her one day why she wouldn't meet me, and she told me, I know if I meet you, I'm going to get attached to you, and there's no way we can be together because we live so far from one another. But I know deep in my heart that I'll see her one day, and when I do, I'll never let her go because I love her.

"Confused Girl"

1 comment:

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