Jun 21, 2006

The message

Days were there when dream seems wonderful......i love to hope .....wish to see what tomorrow brings......everyday was a new day bringing new hopes n fulfiling new dreams......watching stars n searching the face i wanted to see.......hoping that someone is doing same for me...... getting wet in rain n next day regular sneezing......looking at the mirror many times before going out......joking n laughing with frens in every moment we get together......no pains at all.......my world was limited within my frens ,family n myself...........life was so small yet so perfect.......but in that life i always wished to be little more matured.....wanted to know people......see the world......
With all my dreams n smiles i moved n meet "Love".......it was wonderful then.....it taught me to have patience....dream more n wait for tomorrow.....but it brought pain with it.......i gotta know ppl but i got scared to see the real face behind the beautiful mask they were wearing..........i saw world.......so crowed still i found myself standing alone in between them.......n frens lost somewhere in those crowds.......heart started to search for happiness.......which i already lost.........then it suffered.....unknown pain hit each moment n tears flow out of eyes.........dreams seem all dark...broken........i started to hate rain.......those small things that use to bring happiness seems so stupid.......i became matured but i lost everything.......i knew people n i lost faith for everyone......i saw world n my world became dark forever..........just 'coz i m in love........lost everything still had someone to make me happy n i was living life with only that thing..........
Suddenly everything changed........life took a turn.......i lost the only hand that's holding me in the crowd of unknown faces........then i fall down on my knees......prayed hundred of times.......wished her to come back.........n asked her a last chance .....n i got that chance......i explained her why?.......how?.........but by then she had buried me somewhere n moved on.........i'd died for her.........i was crying....pleeding.....but my sound.....my prayer never reached her........for hours i remebered every word she told me.......the way she killed me in her heart........i wasn't able to think what next.......from where i'll start again........i looked around n i saw m surrounded by the walls of memories , my dreams,my hopes........m really buried under them........
I've been blamed for all mistakes that i never did.......if i did then also its not my intention.......if i hurt her by mistake then also i felt regret.......hurting intentionally was not in my heart n mind.........its beyond my imagination........then i thought if her happiness is without me.........i should go away too.......why should i be the black clouds in someone's happy world.?.........this story is mine.......n its complete......it's not necessary that i loved u so i must get back the same........so i killed myself for her........
Then i thought how i will live now........when i try to forget memories my past becomes empty......my present seems meaningless n future seems dark......i was lost completely.......there wasn't way to turn back.....n i don't have guts to move ahead..............i can't live without sharing my feelings with her............then i decided to write stories n poems.......my every story......n my poems are for her.........and this is to tell her that till m alive i won't disturb her life.........but i'll write stories for u....my poems will shout out your name.....n the day i stop writing for u........think m gone........died not only for u but for world........n that day for a minute look behind n remeber me for once........my soul will be free.........i can't change my feelings......i can't stop loving her........so this life i will live for her........those memories he'd buried were fresh in my heart forever........she was thankful to god that m not part of her life anymore............but m grateful to god that he brought her in my life.........n i learnt to live life.......struggle......n knew that life isn't always abt your happiness.........sometimes we have to live for others too.......and m thankful to her that she hold my hands when i was steping forward to face the world........n when i scared she hide me with in her.......and when m ready again to start she let me with her warm smile n support me.......m thankful to her........

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