Jun 23, 2006

SO SIMPLE YET SO COMPLEX

Mr. Psychic has always preferred isolation. He has been isolated from his childhood. Totally isolated, totally left out, and totally alone. Left out by his parents, left out by his friends left out by people who meant the world to him and left out by everybody. As always tonight also he is all alone in his room, his only company being his cigar, scotch and silence. It is no different from any other night as the breeze is gently blowing and the moon is peeping through the window but there's a whole lot of things hovering around his mind. It is not always that he talks to himself but tonight his fingers are continually striking the keyboard flooding his emotions onto the monitor. It seems as if he is talking to himself, he seems to be trying to explain something to himself.

"She is a poet's imagination, a reality turned dream, truely a gods creation, a beautiful flower just blossoming for me, magical creation, spellbindingly beautiful. No! Beautiful is too harsh a word to describe her. I have been studying her since i gained my senses. Her every little glimpse has provided me with the inspiration and unknown energy for so long. Glimpses are all that i have been stealing from her. She doesn't still know me yet and i don't want her to. I am quite content with her glimpses alone. I can't dare to spoil it all for this stupid reason."
"I can't help but smile from within whenever i see her. She seems to smile back at me. I get the feeling of being lost in paradise. Sometimes she throws me a strange and offended look. Maybe she gets conscious and offended of being watched and followed by an unknown person like me. I feel guilty. But she compensates for this with her charismatic nature. She smiles at every other person she meets. Like me, she can't be angry with someone for long."
"She is the one i have been looking for all my life. Now i have found her but i still won't try to get any closer to her. This is not the appropriate time. For the time being i am happy with whatever i am getting; those precious inspiring and satisfying glimpses. Maybe it's enough fore lifetimes. I don't want to derail her off track for my happiness. I am just enjoying her presence as she is enjoying her life. And how enjoyable her life is. At least it seems so. Everybody loves her."
"One day, maybe our tracks will become the same and she will be all mines. But it will come with time only. I won't be unhappy even if the day never comes. She doesn't belong to me and i am happy with whatever little happiness i have got till now. I will think she wasn't ever destined to be mine. Just her being happy is enough for me. Actually whatever little amount of happiness i have got is too much for a lifetime as short as this."
Mr. Psychic saves the file and gets a printout. He gets up from his chair and starts reading what he has written. “I have tried my best and still i can't explain it to myself?, “ he says to himself.” This writing seems so inadequate and hollow.” He safely puts the printout in file and sits down on the couch, freeing all his weight on it. Then he smiles.”Well then, i give up. To describe her is beyond my limits. My whole vocabulary would be insufficient to describe her. She is 'so simple yet so complex’. His smile vanishes. And why should i describe her? She is all mine and why should anyone else know about her?"
And why should you know about her?,” he shouts at himself .The window panes tremble as a consequence. Then there is again a graveyard silence.
Mr. Psychic reaches out for his jacket and feels inside it. He grins in anticipation of something. His hand slowly comes out of the jacket. There is a revolver in his hand. Quite calmly he rests the nozzle on his right temple .He gives a psychic, mysterious smile. Then .........and then slowly he pulls the trigger...........bang.........silence....

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