Lonliness

Just tired........tired of walking alone in these lonely roads of life....only wished to get away.....go away from those past....those memories....but forgot that memories never can be left behind.....u lock them inside your heart but it leaves certain wound....that it hurts with a blow of wind...with a single word....Sometimes life seems meaningless......useless....u found yourself in middle of no where....no one needs u....certainly life seems like u're the only one left behind....everyone moved ahead n u're left to be alone....and today i found myself in that place.....the place where u're abandoned....everything seems so clear yet nothing is perfect...no happiness...when u smile others can see pain in it....when u do something others find out your mistakes....and only u know that u're never wrong....
I wish i could undo every minute of my life....i wish i could go back to the past n change it for everyone's sake.......suddenly i started to feel that i was going round n round the earth alone...all alone....i thought every face laugh with me all the time n now i found they r laughing at me......suddenly i started to drown ......afraid of every little thing in life.....m i insane?........oh may be i m.......if world is pointing at u and laughing in your face what else can be the reason........must be i was crazy all the time.......feeling always hit me in my heart......and i tried not to feel anything.....still it's following me....hitting me....but i even can't say i don't feel it anymore.....sometimes i try to be alone....try to hide myself........turn off lights n try to hide in those dark nights...cause i know no one will search for me....but how can i hide from my destiny...my badluck...it always find its way toward me......
sometimes i try to cry out loud........cry out in my loneliness ...'cause my tears got blamed a lot of time.......hope with each drop that it will take some pain of mine....but it increased the pain inside.......but each drop took my happiness...my thoughts....my strength.......but the lonliness is mine.......n i know i've to live with it.........life is drama n m playing my part so well.....no matter how much others blame me...no matter how much others hate me...n no matter how much they abandon me.........