Jul 4, 2006

GENEROUS GOD??

I saw her at the party today. She hasn't changed. Not a bit. She still smiles the same smile with those beautiful dimples on her cheeks which could melt stone. She still speaks in the same tone which was like soothing music to me and many guys like me and yes she still looks no less beautiful than those days. I knew many guys were after her .They would just do any thing to get noticed. If she spoke to one of us than our day was made. Every day, some guy would do this or that to get close to her. I tell u ,we even saw those saints and also those big bullys change themselves into romeos in no time. She entered the college premises and every set of eyes followed her. Every one longed to get close to her .Every guy wished to talk to her. Inspite of being so beautiful and popular there was nothing as fake pride within her .She never ignored any one who greeted her .With every greeting and smile she would get, she should return them with another beautiful smile. She was really a fairy. Maybe brought down to earth to make this world little bit more beautiful. Really, this world would have been a happier place if God had sent more Nehas.
I wonder if she noticed my legs trembling whenever i got close to her. I wonder if she noticed me blush when i had approached her to express my feelings. I was among the ones who dared to go near her and look into those ocean blue eyes which could even hypnotise god, My friends had provided me all the lessons required. They had prepared me well. When i approached her, i could sense many pairs of eyes following me curiously. But all in vain. I just got struck in the moment when i looked into those eyes. i just couldn’t say any thing . U were going to say something, weren’t u? she asked. mmmm well,ya! Actually not, nothing, just wanted to ask if u had finished the project work, i replied most hesitantly. This would happen almost every time i wanted her to know how i felt for her. I wasn't happy with me and i wasn’t happy with her coz she never tried to understand my feelings. She was driving me crazy. All she had to do was smile at me and i was her slave but still there was very less that i could do about that. They named this disease "nephritis".
I was a great admirer a great lover although i thought she wasn't destined to be mine. I never asked her choices and yet i knew she liked chocolate ice-cream knew she loved wearing traditional dress. I knew she liked light make up. I knew she liked monsoon and i knew she loved reading Sidney Sheldon. I knew she had watched titanic 19 times and i knew the number of guys who had proposed to her. I knew she liked Brad pitt and i knew she loved <<<>>!!!
Whenever I saw her with ujwal I could do nothing but envy. I tried everything to break them up. Sometimes i even felt like an antagonist in a bollywood movie who was trying to get the heroine from the protagonist by hook or by crook. I tried filling her ears with bad things for ujwal but nothing worked. One day I even tried beating him up. All that followed was that they got closer. They got together in front of my eyes. They went on coffee dates and parties and proms together. At the prom I could do nothing but helplessly and enviously watch her in his arms....cursing my fate. When nothing worked, on Rose day i decided to give it a final try... so I gathered up my guts and walked up to her with a rose in my hands ....I handed the rose to her and i wished her a Happy Rose day...she wished me back. And when i got the opportunity i begun......"hey i don't want to interfere in your personal matters but as your friend I can't keep my eyes closed at what i am seeing. "sorry, I didn't get you”, she said. "well, I saw ujwal at the bar yesterday and he was drunk..." SO what ? she said ,i know he drinks. That doesn't matter until he loves me.." Seeing no way out i started saying that ujwal didn’t deserve her. She could get much more handsome and perfect guy. I knew every one was looking but i went on and on.I just went on saying this and that .And she didn’t care..........She threw the rose onto the floor and walked away....
I remember the cartoon on the black board next day. A boy on his knees with a rose in his hand, begging for love to a girl who was in another guy's arms. At the 1st glance i knew it was meant for me. It was embarrassing as nobody listened to me when i wanted to prove my point saying that I wasn’t really after her.....and this and that .I wanted to show off that i didn’t give a damn but nothing worked infront of my mates who were always looking for a topic to laugh at during the canteen breaks and I had provided them with a good topic to laugh at. I said i don't want her as she is not so beautiful just like the fox said the grapes are sour... but they didn't stop making fun of me for years, until we left college.
Now when i see them together. i have to stop breathing to stop myself from laughing. It is a most randomly made match. Just like a fairy to a clown. Today, at the party, somebody said he has a wonderful wife, hasn’t he?ya,lucky guy! I replied.Then one of my workmates said "GOd has been generous to that guy but your wife is in no way less beautiful.Thank u! i replied smiling.......

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